Thursday, November 4, 2010

The reality of living in the basement

As much as it sounds like a blast, living in the basement is really starting to get to me. Cabin fever? Stressed, depressed, frustrated, cramped and stir crazy? Yes!

Even with all the make out sessions and underage drinking that usually go with a basement, we don’t live with our mothers anymore and I need more space!
This was a photo on  Redfin that ALMOST made us not even look at the house. We thought it was the main kitchen which wasn't pictured due to obvious reasons I will post in the future.

Here are the facts:
I will start with the pros, because I'm optimistic like that.

Pro #1
We HAVE a basement which makes it possible to work on the HOUSE

Con #1
It is STILL a basement.

Pro #2
It is a DAYLIGHT BASEMENT with lots of natural light!

Con #2
This also leaves us in a terrible defense position once the Zombie Apocalypse begins. 5 points of entry with a 6th between us and the pantry.

Pro #3
It has been mostly remodeled with Berber carpets, real tile and Ikea cupboards!

Con #3
It has an awesome toe stubber for all our guests. A 1 inch high metal strip separating the kitchen and living area  (See the house of why?). We have managed to get over that, but our guests hit it every time.

Pro #4
It has a kitchen which makes it even possible to live down here

Con #4
It is an itty bitty kitchen, hardly fit for a studio apartment of someone who only orders delivery. That dishwasher is pint size but the sink could wash a set of twins! The pans must hang on the wall in order to keep the basics in the cupboards and the tupperware has been banished to the bookshelf.

Pro #5
It has a microwave too!

Con #5
Let me tell you about the microwave ....
Oh where to start... the turn table that doesn't turn... the handle that was glued back on by a child....
But the best part is the light..
When we turn on the light the fan comes on… but to turn off the fan, one would imagine you hit the fan off button, but no… first you must finish your original request which is making the light come on..hitting light HIGH, or light LOW til it actually comes on, all the while the fan is blaring and all you want is to cook some eggs and see what you are doing…
So now the light is on.
(Can't we just leave it on all the time honey? I ask)
Now you need to get the fan off so you can think...
So you try fan off again… and manage to make it a dull roar… and then you try OFF again… no such luck.
First you must turn in a circle 3 times, curse the day you bought the place and take 10 deep breathes, accept the fan noise, forgive the fan for it knows not what it does… continue on with your prep for a few seconds and try again.
THEN it will turn off.
(If you do not believe me, I have witnesses)
And lately, when you turn OFF the light, the fan comes on again...repeat process above.

Pro #6

We get to enjoy the view of the patio and garden from our couch.

Con #6
We also get to view the patio/garden from our dining room table, office, kitchen and bathroom!
In this photo you can see our living room, office, dining room and kitchen

Pro #.....

OK, I'm out of pros…time to make light on the last of the Cons…and maybe I can find the bright side…

Con #7 Living down here means we haven’t moved upstairs yet...

Pro #7 That ALSO means it is not Christmas(51 days!)

Renting was so carefree--2009

Con #8 We are paying a hefty mortgage for what is technically a 1 bedroom apartment  without  a shower
We  get to be a bit envious of the house when we head up the stairs every morning to shower though.

Pro #8.. We are new homeowners and get to experience this exactly once. Along with painting window sills, sanding beams, scrubbing old grease from cupboards, installing new switches and outlets etc.

Con #9 (are you tired of this yet? Last one I promise)

The AWESOME PAINT JOB and the lights.

Let us see if I can come up with a pro to counteract this one....
Pro: We get to repaint this once we move up stairs, no no, that is another con...because it means more work..
Pro: We don’t have to live down here while painting! No no, still work..
Pro: We get to undo more of this house of why at our leisure once we move upstairs! Ok, I'll settle with that one. Plus these light fixtures that make it daytime at midnight get to be moved to the garage!

We still cannot figure out HOW they didn't finish painting down here. It is as if they had only 5 gallons of paint and stopped when they ran out, at the most central part of the whole basement. I like to make up stories for the House of Why? It makes me hate them a little less.

Overall, we have enjoyed and entertained a lot of friends in the 7 months we have lived down here, so it IS technically livable and enjoyable.
(Just don't tell our families!)
Even though the kitchen is the size of a nickel, as long as I run the dishwasher every day and all non essential cooking gear upstairs and the counters empty, I'm able to prepare a simple dinner. Even making new recipes is not something I'm willing to attempt down here and I sure miss it. I will sure look back on this and thank the stars we don’t have kids yet.

It will be awfully strange once we move upstairs. I cannot even imagine how it will feel. We have guests that have slept more days upstairs than we have( TrApril 0- Guests 5). We have been thinking about camping upstairs some night...
Then we can retrain all our friends and pizza delivery to come to our front door instead of our back door.

What stands between us and moving up?

27 days! Some greasy kitchen cupboards that I am attempting to save this week, the beams and the dreaded windowsills. Oh wait--there is still the accent wall in the kitchen and the dry bar needing paint too!

This is supposed to end on a positive note....but for documentation purposes all of the above is true.
I'm sure I have left some things out too.  I didn't mention the gold accents in bathroom or the lack of closet leaving all our clothes on bookshelves. Nor did I mention the glossy walls in the bedroom and slider that has a broken wheel that had to be fixed every week to open smoothly.

Here it is:

All of this can be changed.
All is well.


  1. Oh, once again, a hilarious, true post! I am so glad you cannot see the house we built (we have no one else to blame this disaster on, lol). Your basement is awesome, not like the 32 years of encrusted junk we just can't get rid of in ours, sigh!

    I enjoy your writing and your sense of humor and I swear we owned a close relative of your current microwave years ago--we thought it was truly demonically possessed!

    Thank you for the humor, I needed a good laugh. Karen

  2. Thank you Karen for getting my humor! Maybe when you are done detailing the history of your garden you can move on to the house. Just give me 32 yrs and Ill forget I even HAD a basement (until I read back thru this blog!)

  3. You're doing it wrong...



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